yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
