The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im holly from the hills drunk
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
