just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize