Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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