the condom got lost in my hair
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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