Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dick very happy bro
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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