walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize