Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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