Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
