I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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