I look better un-naked...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize