the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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