Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
