I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
