is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
