dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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