I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
