apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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