I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
