I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
