You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
