Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
