Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
