It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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