Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
