i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize