The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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