Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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