Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
