But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
