I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's like iHOP with fire
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You dont lie about slip and slides
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
