Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

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(406): View more from Montana

What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?

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(253): View more from Washington

Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.

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(917): View more from New York City

I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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(815): View more from Illinois

He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"

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(513): View more from Ohio

I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him

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