i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
