honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
