she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
