Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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