Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
