Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
