i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize