I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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