I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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