I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
