Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
