im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
