I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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