Barsexuality is the new black.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
