looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
