Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
