WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
