It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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