You really coming over, don't trick.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
