I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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