..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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