what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
