I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
