the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
